Sunday, February 01, 2009

Slumbitch Billionare

As all of you know something wonderful happened in the World Cinema this year. Indian press is going gaga over a movie touted as largely Indian and nominated for 10 Oscars including 3 oscar nomination for People of Indian Origin (PIO) but Global Citizens viz. A. R. Rahman, Gulzar and Sukhvinder Singh. Click here for details.

Yes you got it right. I am talking about Slumdog Millionare (SM) by Danny. Even Ms. Nikhat Kazmi rated a movie as 4.5 stars in ToI 23rd Jan in her review and it was one of the first by Ms. Kazmi as noted by me. I may be wrong here :-) Let me quote from her reveiw
"quote"....Forget the twitter about aggrieved national sentiment. For Slumdog Millionaire is neither poverty porn nor slum tourism… No Slumdog is just a piece of riveting cinema, meant to be savoured as a Cinderella-like fairy tale, with the edge of a thriller and the vision of an artist. It was never meant to be a documentary on the down and out… And it isn't..... "\quote"

And this prompted we (yours sincerely and Jaya) to watch this euphoric movie which has taken Indian intellectuals on a ride. The following comments are purely personal and similarity with anybody living or dead is purely co-incidental :-)

"movie_review"...IMHO, it is a pathetic movie but not poverty porn with excellent music and direction. It deglorifes India, indian police, brothels (RLA) but fails misrably while attempting this with the indian slums. They gets are glorifed in the process. Movie succeeds in glorification of the Goras visiting Taj Mahal and slumdogs' childhood romance. "\movie_review"

We both were having a big headache after coming out of Big Cinema at Palam Vihar. Even "welcome to sajjanpur" by Mr. shyam benegal was more entertaining than this movie. We felt like somebody robbed us of our 400 bucks which is a big money to save in this recession times rather than donating it to Big cinemas. :( Had Mr. Danny Boyle learnt something from Bollywood movie Mukhbir's producer of "Satisfactory Guarantee Challenge", I would have been richer by INR 400 today ;-) But it seems Mr. Boyle had full confidence in his marketing and moreover Gora-bhakt indian crowd. Do you think that a similar movie by an Indian director like Meera Nair on Vikas Swarup's Q&A had even gone for Golden Globe, forget about Oscar nominations?

After finding out later that Mr. Arindam Chaudhuri of The Great Indian Dream fame also agrees with me on his latest blog, I propose the following:

Movie Name: Slumbitch Billionare (SB)
Director: Arindam Chaudhuri
Producer: TBD
Music Director: A. R. Rahman
Lyricist: Gulzar
Location: London, slums around posh Oxford Street {:-) as you know every second bollywood movie is shot in London now-a-days}
Game Show Name: Who wants to be a billionare?
Quizmaster: Mr. Siddhartha Basu (the other person with me in the pic of this post)
Game Show Host: No prize for guessing this. It is the fellow participant at Big Boss season 1 (who faced Racial discrimination charges against Shilpa Shetty). Hope you remember!!
Lead actors: Darsheel Safary of TZP and Freida Pinto.... and role 0f Jamal can be given to Aman aka Banku from Bhootnath.
We may do one more twist in the movie adaptation of the novel Q&A in the movie to show our contribution. Since "Becoming a millionare is an individual's aspiration while becoming a billionare is an organization's". Hence in our movie, Darsheel would be working for a Slumbitch Indian BPO company having its office in London's Oxford Street aspiring to become Billionare. Who wants to be billionare? No, not Darsheel; it is that Indian BPO. By the way, nothing is much different in SB from SM by choosing UK office of indian company as our hero from SM also works for a Mumbai BPO. And everybody knows what happens in India's call centres now-a-days by reading Chetan Bhagat's One Night at The Call Centre :)

So I am looking for a producer for this movie as that is the only name which is To Be Decided (TBD) in the above schema of things. Even if movie is made and released in India with "Maza na aaaye to paise wapas" (money refund) challenge it is not going to run for even a single week. You can very well guess that this movie will not win any filmfare or screen awards forget about Golden Globe or Oscar nominations even ;-) And you know how many stars Ms Nikhat will give to this movie in her review.......Just one * ...... :-(... Still if somebody is willing to become producer; of this movie please contact me :-)

Hence we say,
Itne saare slumdogs
Aur us se bhi jyaada dogs
Aur us bhi jyaada bade logon ke Kaan (ears)
Phir bhi Mera Bharat Mahaaaaaaaaaaaan (my india is great)!!

Jai Ho!!
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© Narendra Shukla, 2009. No part of this post should be copied and used anywhere without prior approval from author.
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Monday, January 05, 2009

Welcome to State Sponsored Criminalisation of Politics

I sincerely wish A very Happy new Year 2009 to all the MLAs of Delhi.  May you keep on winning all the future elections in this country and Keep India as number one Investor in Swiss Bank.... Coutnry's GDP will feel proud of you for your contribution to Swiss Bank...

In lighter vein, I sincerely wish that 40% of you go to your deserved places by the end of this year and you should never see the face of Delhi Assembly.  Please don't mind it sir!! You are the honourable law maker for Delhi...Sorry zaara jubaan phisal gayi :-)

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimT3r-Jdp8qSG4TQoByDT_0dYerhIPRi2u658wPjFGCljJWJ_FJrUV-XZPgbgveKBTk_uv1_OPtyDs78iGiBal9x7oMZx4VLN2RRLDGmcWkFLQer4M43D7H22YaadtqSQ2FLUM/s1600-h/Picture+2.jpg

Transcript of few lines overheard by AAm aadmi (while YFE members were posting these posters on foggy winter night of this 1st Jan to WAKE this capital city from the Deep Sleep) 

1) Bharat Maata ki Jai..... 

2) Ye jo desh hai mera.. 
Criminals se bhara... 

3) Ye Delhi Police se itne fog me itni mehnat kyon karwa rahe hai YFE waale...

4)Arre behan _ _ _ _, ye poster kon laga gayo re _ _ _ _ Maari naukari le doobega ke .. Behan _ _ _ _ Raat kharaab kar di in Behan _ _ _ _ _ _  Inki Maan Ki _ _ _ _ 


5) Delhi Goverment Amar Rahe..

6) SD Teraa  raaj Kaayam rahe..

7) Arjun bhi jaldi hi tumhaare saath honge...Aur krishna Geeta bhool kar Prapanchtantra ka paath padhayega is kalyug mein.... Is Arjun ko Gyaan do bhagwan....Bhaut Bhatak Gaya hai..

8) Question: Jab Delhi mein har roj kam se kam ek draupdi ki aabroo loot te hain, tab Krishna kahan hota hai??
Answer: Krishna, Arjun ke saath 40% MLA ki rakhwaali kar raha hota hai..These MLAs are biggest asset to our nation.. Hence Delhi Govt has recruited Both Krishna and Arjun for their personal Security 

9) Hum honge kaamyab ek din....saathi haath badhaana.. ek poster utar jayegaa.. doosara waala bhi poster utarwaana.. jaldi se utaaro aur ghar jao.. bahut fog hai aaj kal !!

10) Kam se kam traffic police maamu ko logon ki breath analysis check karne se better kaam karne ko to Diya YFE waalon ne ;-)

Jai Hind!!